fan the flame and make me grow

When we had to put our adoption on hold it was difficult. I had built up so much excitement because things were moving along. However, through the wait I began realizing that it was for the best! I am a girl who loves check lists! I get things done! So, putting my paperwork checklist on hold was HARD and emotional. You see I have had A LOT of loss. Some things I think I have grieved and then it pops back up. So, putting the dream of my children coming home on hold was like a loss or disappointment but the best thing.

(seriously…I’m not just saying that)

During that time I gave all my attention to my husband, daughter and granddaughter. When your waiting for something you need to be careful you don’t forget the blessings in front of you! I also saw things that I needed to do like seeking God to know Him deeper. Like a friendship that needs more quality time. I also made time for Bible Studies, dug into scripture, read adoption books that are very thought-provoking and made sure I was making time for my marriage!

When it came time to start back up on the paperwork you would have thought I would have been jumping for this opportunity ! I knew the steps I needed to take but I just couldn’t do it. You can read more about the feelings to wait and the time to get back into the process HERE.

In some of the books that I was reading about children who have experienced loss I started to notice that I had some of those same fears. When I would get pregnant I would have hope for that sweet baby but also fear the worst because I had so many miscarriages. I have also noticed that with our grand baby I was fearing the worst. The books were saying that you can deal with your loss and grieve but there are still sometimes triggers. I can totally agree with this. I am in a very healthy place in my life when I talk about my miscarriages however, out of the blue something will remind me of one of the babies and I am just heartbroken. This also happens when I think about our children who are hurting daily because their family is broken.

So, fear is not of God so I have been saying these verses when I feel fearful!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love,  and self-discipline.” ~2Timothy 1:7 NLT

“Do not give way to fear.” ~1Peter 3:6

Satan will use what works on you and I want to be joyful, confident, peaceful, and have wisdom with my family. So, it’s a choice every time I have a negative thought. Will I dwell in it or rebuke it. I am VERY excited about what God is doing in our lives. I can say that I love that he has given me time to prepare for our children who will be hurting when they come home. I have a deeper understanding of what is needed to help a child who has lost everything. I know I don’t have all the answers however, I believe that God will provide wisdom and will surround me with resources.

I also am not fearful because I know that if we share these things with our children, they will have hope for the future:

  • the healing power of Jesus Christ
  • the Father who can love them perfectly and will NEVER leave them
  • the knowledge and wisdom in scripture

I have an urgency about our life right now …..not sure what it means but I believe it will be a BIG change for our family. When I heard this song, it describes the fire I feel in my soul for our future! I am excited about the next step Christ has for us!

Please join our family in prayer as our adoption moves forward but also that we stay focused on Christ. We don’t want the adoption to consume us. We want to be open to the path Christ has for us. Pray against distractions and fear.


Sit Back and Relax


We can all identify with waiting. It happens all through life. When you are in the middle of it, it seems like forever! For instance, I am the best at picking out the longest check out line at the grocery store. I’m usually in a hurry and that is when the person in front of me needs a price check, forgets money, card is denied, coupons won’t work, or it’s the cashiers 1st day! All of these things happen and it’s normal. However, when you are watching, focusing on your plans for the day and can’t do anything about it…it just seems to happen in slow motion. Well, that is a silly little example that has happened to most of us. However, it can also be related to bigger things that we are waiting on.


So many times in life we try to control circumstances or timing. However, if we just give it over to God we can sit back and relax. I would love to watch life happen and not worry about the outcome because God has the perfect plan. Yes, I know that requires us to get up and say yes to God. If we were  able to do these things without frustration or worry about running out of time or determining if we are on the path God wants for us, that would make things much more enjoyable! So, why is it so hard to give over control to God….live in faith…..have full trust that His plan is the best?

*Well, that is what I’m working on. I’m really trying to turn my focus on what the scripture says not what my time-table says. Scripture talks about our future, who we were created to be, and great tips on decision-making. This is not an easy thing but it is life changing!

I really notice that keeping a journal or blogging is important for me in order to focus on God’s blessings and promises. When I feel discouraged, I just have to pick up a journal or read old posts to remember that there are specific things God has done for us. I encourage everyone to keep some kind of record of your blessings. It is totally worth it!

This blog is a reminder of the things God has put in our path to show us He is right there  with us. Blessings are all around.

It Will Be Yours


I have been reading so many blogs that tell their wonderful stories of adoption. I have been noticing  that the common factor in these families, is WAITING. I think we all have that in common. Every life story I read is different. This encourages me! It is exciting to me that we all have our own story to share! Every family waits for something different.

In the adoption world it is …….

(a matching child, courts, paperwork,  home study, appointments, training, meeting their child)

In a pregnant mom it is……..

(test results,  gender reveal, contractions, labor, meeting their child)

In a single women it is…….

(for the right man)

In a wife whose husband is overseas with the military it is……

(for a safe return, for that next message he sends, for peace in your heart)

When I see that others have waited for different things for so long it makes me feel like I’m right on track and I’m not in this alone.

I know that when I wait and save for something I just become more and more excited about getting it. I can’t imagine the excitement I will have when I see the faces of my children that I have been waiting on.

I think it would be encouraging for you to comment below to share maybe how long you have waited on something or what you have waited for. I’m not asking for a detailed story, just a quick note so we can see that we are all in this together!

Join together to WAIT because it WILL be worth the WAIT!

Waiting for a harvest

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.
James 5:7
When a farmer plants seed in the ground, he doesn’t know what kind of crop he will have. He must be patient and have faith and spend the time tending to his crop. In this verse it says “See HOW the farmer waits…” The farmer isn’t sitting on his porch. He is doing something. Even though the harvest is not yet evident, he is working because he knows that it will pay off in good time.

We are in a waiting period. The thing about a waiting period is that you start thinking about everything that is going on in your life and you tend to start questioning things. It’s easy to become discouraged and it’s easy to wonder if you’re on the right path because it feels like nothing is happening. Sometimes it is easier to be running around like a crazy person because you see things getting done. We are such impatient creations.

You may remember the post where Rebekah and I sat down and started the decision of from which country we should adopt. We were looking at Russia and Bulgaria as well as Colombia. In the last few weeks we have seen God’s reasoning for Colombia. Russia has had such turmoil with adoption lately being shut down. Yesterday I read about how basically all of Bulgaria’s government has resigned. This will no doubt throw a wrench in the adoption process. Just know that if you are one of the families trying to adopt from these countries, God never starts something that He doesn’t finish.

But looking at these things from our side of the table we see tremendous confirmation and protection. It is a sign that we are on the path that we need to be on. Regardless of the day to day trials of life, and regardless of the enemy whispering discouragement in our ear saying that this will never get done, we choose to see God at work and rest in the knowledge that He will complete what He started. He is faithful. So we will tend our field and expect a bountiful harvest, even though the plants have yet to break the soil.