Miscarriage…..reminders from God

This post is just pure honesty. I’m not sure what you will think or even if you will understand. However, I am inspired by a friend to share my emotions and story with you. My friend had several miscarriages and was open with people about how she was really feeling. This was huge for me! I saw her story help comfort other people. It helped others know they weren’t alone and she could grieve with them. When I have had miscarriages, I was very closed off because:

*  it was so painful

*  it just kept happening over  and over

*  I felt like it was private

*  it created awkwardness in conversations

*  people would say things that hurt (you’ll get pregnant again)

*  and it just hurt to talk about it.

I felt like in the beginning of my journey I was alone with God. It was important for me to stay positive in these stages of loss.  So, I prayed continuously and read scripture. But I was missing that connection with people to connect about what I was experiencing. It started to form bitterness and jealousy. And then….it happened!!! A precious women at church had the same idea and created a very needed group that has been such an encouragement for me. The name of the small group is Hopeful Hearts. It is not a place to be overwhelmed by negative stories but a place for restoration, encouragement, and scripture to hold onto. These women understood my deep emotional scars and were able to connect because of our similar journeys. No ones journey is the same but they all have some connecting paths.

This was my healing ground along with tears, daily prayer, scripture, and a husband that was there for me every time I cried in his arms.

I had people that I was sharing my story with in this group but I definitely wasn’t posting my miscarriages and feelings on Facebook. Again, I just felt very private about it. So, I’m stretching out of my comfort zone because if this could comfort one person, it is worth it. The healing that you can experience from sharing with each other is important in the process of healing. It is such a blessing to have encouragement from women who have experienced the same thing.

Last year this precious leader of our Hopeful Hearts group gave each of us a gift. It was  a plant that was very special. She wanted us to have a plant that would come back each year. We had all experienced so much loss that even a dying plant was depressing. So a plant that would give life and color each year sounded like an amazing gift. Except that I actually can’t keep plants alive. So, I was a little worried about this gift that was suppose to give life each year.

Until……

This week was the 3rd week we had been waiting on an approval answer from the orphanage. We are so close to getting our kids home….it is kind of like when you are finding out if you are pregnant or not. That is exciting for most but for me that brings extreme stress because the last 13 times we have been pregnant, we have experienced the loss of a child. So, without even knowing it, my emotions have been reminded of my babies that had strong heartbeats but I never got to meet. To be truthful….I’m just missing my babies. And then I came home to this beautiful blooming flower in my backyard…..yep….it lived…it came back!

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What a beautiful reminder from God that He has my babies with Him in a place more beautiful than I could imagine. This beautiful flower is also a reminder that God has a path for us. A plan that is greater than we could ever comprehend. His children are important and need love. He has chosen us to raise a set of siblings in Colombia. It is so unbelievable to see what God has already done to make this adoption happen. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for the rest of our lives. When the Lord your God sets a plan out for you ….run towards it!

God is with us reminding us everyday that there is hope for the future….just look around and see it.

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Why a Sibling Group

Everyone has a different journey they follow and thank goodness because I have a few things I just don’t think I could do. I was thinking about this the other day and it reminded me of what people usually say when they find out I’m an Elementary School Teacher. Everyone always says, “I could never do your job!” I think that is funny because I have the best job ever! However, I completely know how they feel. I have those same feelings about anyone in the medical profession. That is just not my specialty.

So, my point is that we are all called to do different things and have different gifts. That even applies to your families. Families today have foster kids, adoptive kids, biological kids, step kids, and kinship kids. I love this because you are able to plug right into what fits you. When you are doing what you are good at, you are so much happier! And sometimes God gives you blessings that you had no idea you would fall in love with! Be open to saying YES to God. It will be amazing!

Well, we are definitely going to have a very unique family and we are very excited! We have a daughter who is 18 and a granddaughter who is 8 months. Currently, we are in the process of adopting a sibling group. So, we will have a fun-filled house!

Many people always ask, “Why a sibling group?” So, here is why:

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1. That is the journey that we have been called to follow. We are teachers of 20-30 kids in a class, I think 3-4 would be right up our alley! Don’t get me wrong…..I know it will be CRAZY!

2. You get all your children in one swoop! YEA!!! There will never be a dull moment !

3. When I see a big family…..it makes me smile from ear to ear!

4. Sibling groups are usually hard to find homes for.

5. Rhees has had a very clear dream that we would be adopting a group of kids.

6. And we are very passionate to have our children live with their brothers/sisters. This to me is the most important reason to adopt a sibling group. They have a bond that will never be broken and I want them to feel safe here. We will do our best to make them feel loved and cared for. However; when they are flying into another country to go live with new people, they will have their siblings to provide that sense of familiarity. They will be able to share memories, language (Spanish), and color of their skin with their siblings….making them feel more at home. We know that in the beginning it will be hard and I believe that the comfort that these children will provide for each other will be so important.

Again….everyone has their own path….please understand that you have your own. We are not saying that this is the “right or only ” way to grow your family.

We are all called to love people….

you get to pick how you are going to do that.

Let your adventure begin!

Expired

Adoption is a journey….we are learning the ups and downs of it. We have so much more to learn, especially when our children arrive.  For those of you who have adopted, you will totally understand the point we are at. In the beginning of adoption you are following a paperwork trail to get your kids home. We went through this a year ago and were so excited that we finished it in record time! Well, like I said… that was a year ago and that means that our paperwork has expired and we are in the updating process.  I’m going to be real here. I need some prayer to get through this waiting/paperwork. I have lost some of that energy and excitement to get things done quickly.

When you are in a season of waiting, it can overwhelm you. I have talked before about how it can actually turn into an idol. So, we have tried to go on with life and not let the adoption “what ifs” start to hold us back from living life. We are enjoying life and are excited for what is to come!

Two things that have kept us distracted and busy are the two new babies in our family!I love being around babies! Their laugh just makes me smile! Seriously…being an aunt & grandparent is incredible! Most recently we had a 1st Birthday and 1st Food! Here are some pics from our fun times!

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1st Baby Food!

My brother's sweet 1yr old!

My brother’s sweet 1yr old!

It is important that we enjoy life and don’t let the waiting blind the joy all

around us!