Simplify

We have been preparing for our adoption in many ways, however it is impossible to know exactly what it will be like when we meet our kids. There are so many unknown variables in our adoption equation. We are doing what we can to prepare and be aware of common things that we can do to help with the transition for our children. We will not know everything that they will need, so we are just preparing to make our life as simple as we can when they arrive. Please know that every adoption is different. We may transition at a normal rate( ha…who really is normal), slowly, or we may need to change some things in our regular routine. (like Bible studies ….I might be involved in too many! ) Bonding with our children is very important. We want them to feel safe and not overwhelmed with all of the changes they are going to encounter. The time and effort we put into the beginning stages will help set them up for success for their future. I just wanted to share this video from, Karen Purvis, that helps you see a glimpse into why simplifying your life is important.

We are excited to meet our kids, but we also have to remember that our kids are available for adoption because something traumatic happened to them. It is very different from bringing your newborn home from the hospital where every single person has taken amazing care of them. So, please keep praying for our children, please. Pray that:

-they are surrounded by people in their orphanage that care about them, talk to them, feed them, play with them, encourage them, and make them feel safe.

-their paperwork is completed quickly so they can come home to start their transition into our family.

-that we will understand their needs and will be able to make them feel safe.

-if they have any illnesses, they are healed!

-that they have started the healing process from past traumatic events.

Insight 2: Simplify Your Life from Tapestry on Vimeo.

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unite

Today was a very special day. Mother’s Day is filled with so many emotions. It is a day to celebrate Mother’s but there are so many women who are grieving and this day is just a reminder of so many things they are healing from.

I am truly blessed to have such strong examples of Mom’s, a daughter that made me a mom, and time to watch my daughter blossom into a  mom. I have healed through some very negative feelings of jealousy and bitterness and I am so joyful to truly celebrate this day with so many inspirational people.

And you friends who are following our journey and praying for us are part of that inspirational group. So, since this blog is to keep up with our adoption and be a constant reminder of how God is providing and giving us strength, joy, and peace through this journey. So, I figured it was time for a little update on what we need from you.

Things were moving so nicely and we were expecting some amazing news that would lead us into the matching process. Then we were suddenly surprised to hear news that would slow us down and potentially stop our adoption. We took the news and of course…you guessed it….I cried. However, we decided that God had worked so hard to show up through this process. We were not done trusting in His plan and resting in His peace. There were many people who continued to show up in ways that I can never thank them enough for. I feel surrounded with people who have been praying and our family feels peace….in a time that we could be mad…devastated….brokenhearted…..we feel there is hope and peace. I can’t explain it except for… if God is living in you, you have the strength, hope, joy, and comfort of the Savior that died for you.

So, through these times I love little encouraging reminders that there is a plan and we should never just give up….so….today my beautiful daughter gets me this perfect necklace. Seriously Perfect!

Be Brave And Keep Going

necklaceSo, this is where you come in …..Unity is important when you are believing in something HUGE! We want to join together and Unite our prayers in agreement that tomorrow morning……

*God’s plan will prevail

*God’s words will be spoken

*God’s words will be heard

*The truth will be recognized

*Clarity will be revealed in our letters

*Hearts will be changed

*Timing will be perfect

*Blessings will come to those working so hard for our kids

Thank you for joining together in agreement through prayer! This is a life-changing journey and we can’t say thank you enough for taking the steps with us!

unite

Ending Bitterness

Due to the fact that I have been stopped multiple times to discuss my last post, I think there should have been a part 2. So, here you go. Again….please remember that this is just what I have learned,  I’m not an expert, this was VERY hard for me, and I still fall backwards every once in a while.

I am very serious when I said before that bitterness overwhelmed my life. So, how did I get rid of this? That is the question that many people have asked me and told me that they have the same feelings but with different topics. So, let me share what I did to grow and become a healthier-happier person.

1. Realize that being bitter and jealous is an unhealthy feeling. I really told myself that the jealous feelings I was having were ok. I had experienced 10 miscarriages. This to me seemed like a perfect reason to be bitter! I didn’t understand why everyone around me was being blessed with babies and I had to say goodbye to mine. The truth is,  I should have been grieving through this journey, but being overwhelmed with ugly feelings towards other people’s blessings was NOT ok! So, first step was seeing that I had a problem….I know….sounds silly but I am being truly honest!

2. Stop making excuses for being bitter. I figured that since I was asking for a creation of God…a blessing to our family…an opportunity to share Christ….I had every right to feel these negative feelings because what I was asking for was important! I kept telling myself, “it’s not like I’m asking for a new car!” Well, I’m sure you are seeing the problem already…..yes, this was an idol in my life! I had an excuse for every negative feeling!

3. Learn what bitterness does to your life. So, at this point in my life I am reading scripture, meeting with people who encourage and challenge me, praying A LOT, and really just seeking to figure things out. Well, my precious friend from church that leads a group called HOPEFUL hearts gave me a year devotional. It was called HOPE. It wasn’t the whole book that changed my life, it was ONE devotional! It said that if you get what you have been waiting for and don’t deal with your bitterness it will still be there. WHAT!!!!!!! This totally blew my mind! If I get a sweet baby….I won’t be bitter…are you kidding me! Ok, well that was my first thought…..my second thought was tears! I didn’t want to meet my children and be that ugly mom who is jealous of everyone! I want to embrace my children and feel absolutely joyful about the blessings in my friend’s lives!

4. Look for the tiniest blessings that surrounded you. I had to start small. (my car started, date night, my teen was respectful, food!!) Then when I started to do this, I realized that they were everywhere! There is always something that you have that someone else wants. Hold onto what you have and have pure joy and hope for the future!

jealous

5. Get rid of bitterness. This was the hard part. It is super easy to recognize that you have problems, but fixing your problems are much more difficult. So, I knew that my major problem was being jealous of a healthy pregnant women, going to a baby shower and feeling sadness overwhelm me because it brought back thoughts of our loss, hearing pregnant women complain about being pregnant, or just spending time obsessing about why this kept happening to me. I finally had a place to start because I could identify the  situations that increased my jealousy/bitterness. You might think this is totally crazy but let me remind you that this is just my experience….I’m not an expert! But it did work 🙂

CRAZY STEP #1: I surrounded myself with children. I teach school but I went a step further and I even started working in the church nursery.  I know…..I also thought this was insane because why would you surround yourself with the one thing that was causing all of these negative feelings. WELL, first of all ……fact #1-children make you smile! Secondly, I decided that I should surround myself with what I wanted most! And lastly, when you are in this overwhelming state of negativity….you should do things for others not yourself. It really does help build you back up! And running from my problems was just making it worse!

CRAZY STEP #2: I started faking it till I made it. I decided that I needed to bless moms. I would find a cute outfit that a friend would love and I would buy it for them. Please understand that this was not genuine for a long time. I really hate admitting this, but I feel like if someone is dealing with this, they need to know that this is an ugly process. So, after giving these gifts and checking on these moms, I started to realize that I was actually excited to do these things! I can say that today I don’t have those negative feelings when I go through the baby aisle. But let me be real….yes…I do fall backwards sometimes. However, it is not the bitterness anymore….it is usually just sadness from a memory. Which is totally part of the grieving process. It is ok to have ups and downs as long as eventually you have more ups than downs!

Let me tell you that these things above were done also with the help of  lots of prayer, friends/family who would pick me up when I fell, a husband who would take me out some nights just to forget for a while, and a church that truly loved me through this.

I really am very embarrassed to tell you this was part of my life, but I have been growing so much and just want other people to be able to feel free and enjoy everything that God is blessing them with! So, thank you friends for coming to ask me how did you get rid of your bitterness. I hope this helps you!

Be The Change

FEATURED FAMILY:       LEE, ME, and THE GIRLS

I want to introduce a family that has been blogging about their adoption process! Go on over to their blog and enjoy reading about the journey. They are adopting a little girl from the Democratic Republic of Congo. If you feel like you should be changing the world one orphan at a time, however you aren’t called to adopt….then this is perfect for you! Just buy a shirt….or two!

Watch this video they have made for you!

Click HERE to buy a shirt and start praying for their journey!

Wearing an adoption shirt is more than just looking good and giving money towards adoption.

When you wear it:

1. It reminds you to pray for orphans.

2. It is a conversation starter. Start spreading the news about how easy it is to help with adoptions. (Be the Change)

3. You have blessed a family. Did you know that you will also be blessed!

4. Who knows….you might sparks someone’s interest to start the adoption process!

Thank you friends for helping other families take their next step in the adoption process! You will be blessed!