Tearing Down the Wall

Well, just recently I have realized that I have a wall that needs to be torn down. Ouch….hate when that happens….it requires a lot of work and VERY uncomfortable situations. Just like everyone else, there are parts of me that have varying levels of strengths and weaknesses. In some situations I don’t care what people think of me. I can be confident  and bold. I can lead and try new things without any hesitation. However, sadly this is not so true throughout all areas in my life. This has really been bothering me lately. I want my life to be the same all around. So, I have been noticing that the PRIDE is what God is working on in me right now. I know…this is going to be a very uncomfortable ride. But in the end, I know it will be so worth it! Basically God is putting me in situations that will require the Pride wall to be torn down. If you are someone who cares what others think about you, you will understand that this is painful! Like I said before, I only have this problem in a few areas so, thankfully I can use those stronger areas to help with the weaker ones. For example, I am a teacher that doesn’t really mind if I am doing something different in my classroom. I know why am doing it and am confident that it works. So, I feel strong about being different. So, I am using that strength to help me in my weaker areas. I see that the reason I feel this way in teaching is because of my knowledge and confidence. When I think about my weaker areas I see that I want to blend in to the crowd so that my lack of knowledge on a subject won’t be exposed. For example, my religious beliefs. I have grown up in church my whole life. However, I really just listened to the teachings and expected everyone to feed me what I needed to know. I didn’t dig deep to understand why I believed these things. So, my knowledge and confidence in the Bible is limited. I find myself not wanting to stick out or be looked at as the “crazy” Christian who may not be able to explain what they believe because they don’t have the knowledge of the scriptures to reinforce their beliefs. I know you should look different if you are living in accordance with the Bible. I know this …I know this …I know this. But something inside of me still is holding me back from living boldly for Christ. Fear has definitely been holding me back. Since I have realized this, I have been reading more to make myself take those steps to becoming more confident in my beliefs.

I have also been reading a book called The Believer’s Authority by Kenneth E. Hagin. This has really help me dig deeper into the Bible and see the authority I have. This is some of the knowledge I need to be confident in sharing the Word with others. I have taped two scriptures on my mirror so that I am constantly praying scripture into my life.

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If I pray the scripture I know it is what God promises! This helps me be confident in my belief! The devil can’t put thoughts into my brain if I am praying scripture..it’s God’s word..not mine! I have heard about being a Christian my whole life but now I am seeing how to really put it into action…Only took me 32 years to figure that out…I hope you get it much faster!! I am so excited to get our children here and show them how to live a life  full of confidence in what their God has done for them and what He promises them!

On an entirely different note:

This week I ran into April, a friend from High School. We were talking about this blog and she had a suggestion that was great! It’s kinda of one of those duh…moments. Thank you April for reminding me that other people are wanting to join us in prayer for our family! I appreciate your great advice! She suggested having specific prayer requests on our blog. That way people can be specific when praying for us. I love it….sorry I didn’t think of this earlier! Ok, so here it goes….How you can pray for us this week!!

1. We are praying that God provides the expenses that come with adoption. He has provided already in very creative ways and we know that He will continue to do this!

2. We will be traveling this week to receive training for our adoption. Pray for safe travel and for us to get the most out of the class.

3. We are waiting for an appointment to get our psychological testing done. This has to be done before we are approved through our agency. Pray for a quick appointment and quick report sent to our agency!

-God has already connected us with a people who have helped us with the psychological evaluation. So, we have already seen blessings in this situation! Praise the Lord!